This morning I woke up to find a social media private message from a friend saying that he didn’t think he was long for this world. Certainly not what I was expecting on a rainy Tuesday morning. I immediately sent him a suicide hotline phone number and some of what I’m going to share with you below. However, his note also sparked my own thoughts of where I am in life right now.
I have a birthday approaching and I am in denial about it. Every time I realize my birthday is upon me, it surprises me. “Oh, yeah, it’s that month again…hmm, how did that sneak up on me so fast? Hurrumph.” Why am I ignoring it? Because I am not where I expected to be in life at this age. Sure, my professional life is on track and I just launched a creative side business as a Leadership Coach. Thankfully I have wonderful family and friends and most importantly, my health; but the only thing I really, truly care about with all my heart is finding true love. The thing I want most in the world still eludes me. No matter how hard I work on myself, nor how much I study, and regardless of how deep I look inside myself, there is still something that prevents me from finding what I yearn for most. Just the night prior to my friend’s note, thoughts creeped into my own head of, “Well, if I’m going to live a loveless life, what’s the point?”
I think most of us start to take stock of what we have and what we “lack” at certain times during our lives. What we “lack” has a much larger presence than the things we have, even if we have many wonderful things in our lives. The “lack” becomes overwhelming to a point of, “I mind as well just end it all. Goodbye cruel world!” (Cue the “Gone with the Wind” Music). Now I’m not taking my friend’s note lightly; but we do become the most award-winning drama queens (and kings) in our own minds when these thoughts arise. So, what to do?
Here are three steps to quickly help get you out of your sense of “lack” and into a sense of “abundance.”
- EMOTE
Yes, let your emotions, OUT! It’s just energy that is trapped inside of you. Cry, scream into a pillow, punch a bag at the gym, workout. BREATHE. If you breathe, believe me, the emotions will come out. No need to hold them inside. This is such an uncomfortable place to be because your mind wants to avoid feeling these types of emotions (anger, sadness, etc.) at all costs. Yet it feels so good when you let all that pent-up energy out. As you let the emotions out you will start to hear your true voice whispering the direction you need to go in next. It’s not going to be the same voice that is telling you to say “Goodbye cruel world.” It’s a soft but strong voice that will start to tell you where you have abundance in your life. You can’t hear that voice when all your emotions are trapped inside you – there is too much energy going on. It’s like trying to hear a whispering angel while you are at a crowded night club with the music blasting.
- Employ GRATITUDE
Start to slowly take stock (and write down) all the things you are grateful for: friends, family, neighbors, all those who love you (there are more than you realize!), your health, a job you may love, your pet(s), your home, hobbies that you enjoy (I personally am a big, big fan of wine tastings, brunches, yoga, barre classes, studying Eastern Philosophy, and so much more!), beautiful sunsets, the changing colors of the autumn trees, a walk on beach with the breeze on your cheek (OK, I’m getting sappy, but you get the point). When we are grateful, guess what happens? The universe gives us MORE of what we are grateful for and we begin to move out of a mindset of lack. When we focus on what we do NOT have, the universe also gives us MORE lack. Hard to believe, but it’s true. What we see in the world, we see more of.
- Jump Start your CREATIVITY
What makes you feel good? What makes you feel Creative? I’m not talking about sitting on the couch watching TV or going to a movie or having a cappuccino with a pretty steamed milk design on top. I’m talking about really kick starting your creativity. Allow yourself to completely indulge in it, like a luxury. My friend who wrote to me is an amazing artist and I told him he would be robbing the world of his greatness if he just decided to end it, and it’s true. For me, I love to write. I could sit and write for hours and hours and get lost in my imagination. Use your imagination, give yourself permission to day dream and do it in an unleashed, unrestrained manner. Go absolutely wild with your creativity. It feels amazing! Who knows what you might create – the world may have been waiting for it.
Life – it’s a beautiful, precious gift. The world around us is filled with beauty and natural abundances that we overlook and ignore each day. We are all on our own lifelong journey which will absolutely have bumps in the road, potholes and thunderstorms. Why? To help us grow, learn and become the true person we are meant to be. My advice to all is don’t waste this life you’ve been given. Every bit of it, even the uncomfortable stuff is valuable – probably the most valuable. Don’t spend your time thinking about what you lack. Have the courage to move forward even when the road is rocky and the weather is stormy.
And to my friend, who wrote me his note – I am grateful for you. Thank you for making me take stock of my own blessings (for which you are one). Keep going, don’t give up. Abundance is just around the corner. Oh yeah…and Happy Birthday to me!
Editor’s note: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline #800-273-8255
(Originally published in KIND OVER MATTER, November 13, 2018
